It’s been over a year since I’ve written anything I like. So when the first few lines of this one came to me at about 5am during insomnia I thought, well *deep breath* now I’ve got to get up and write a poem. I am glad I let it flow instead of dissipate. I like this one, as bleak as it may read. I have found a good publishing company, Christian Faith Publishing, but I can’t at all afford to publish right now, though doing so would be a dream come true.
I have been battling vicious schizophrenic phenomena (completely normal in my situation: “research shows that, especially for recently bereaved people, it is not uncommon to hear the voice of someone who isn’t actually there speaking to you, or who may even be dead” [Mental Health Foundation]), panic disorder, and (possibly manic) depression. My faith in Christ comes with powerful waves of peace and joy that last only a few hours these days. Stability is not something I find recently. I am still very heartbroken for my circumstances in this world. I even found myself irrationally acting out at my own beautiful mother just because she referenced the people in my life I have lost. I don’t even recognize myself in those moments. But I will continue to try to heal. And I thank God for the patience, forgiveness, compassion and support of my parents and friends and family. I am a fallen soul. It is God’s great love that gives me what strength I find. Praise Jesus.
Alone, Together (Ekphrasis)
It is together we have turned from God.
Alone, together, each turns back and prays.
It is together we grasp ourselves to time.
It is alone that we lose track of days.
To meet, we strongly seek a special place.
Yet each one floats adrift in a sea of space.
It is together that we joy and mourn.
It is alone we let go of it all.
The good we seek in each other, we find, forlorn.
As through fate each comes to terms with his own fall.
Adjoined to a mother’s womb as we are born,
It is alone that we release our form.